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While the hoax surrounding Manti Te'o has drawn inevitable comparisons to the situations on MTV's Catfish , it's important to distinguish between Te'o's catfish and (at least some) of those on the show. The Te'o perpetrator seemed solely intent on manipulating and embarrassing his victim. On a recent episode of Catfish, however, one young man forges a fake virtual identity for less malicious but decidedly darker, sadder reasons. 

In case you missed it, let me recap the episode: Tyler, a young, handsome jock engages in a two-year online relationship with Amanda, a gorgeous blonde coed, only to discover “Amanda” is actually a dude named Aaron. Of course, Tyler is a victim, but we also learn that as an openly gay, slightly overweight, effeminate teen in rural Michigan, Aaron is tormented by self-hatred. “I don't want to be gay,” he says.Cheap buy moncler jackets on sale in our shop christian louboutin. He says how being Amanda feels “better than being myself” and how he wishes he could run away. So he did. To the Internet, where he could escape reality and become someone he could accept and someone others would accept too. 

When I heard the T'eo story and watched Catfish, I initially assumed people so deceptive only exist at the margins of our society or as bottom-feeders of its moral depths.He is most popularly known for his duveticamall, commonly referred to as "sammy red-bottoms." And yet, while we're not so lonely or manipulative or extreme, each of us is like Aaron, to a certain extent, hiding behind a screen, using Facebook, online dating, and other social media platforms to construct and portray distorted versions of ourselves, versions of who we'd like to be or of who we'd like others to think we are. Maybe we don't hate ourselves like Aaron or want to escape our bodies, our identities, or our lives completely—but we do like to construct somewhat of a fantasy,BF3 player dogtags from christian louboutin boots with details about dogtags taken and lost dogtags. to build and believe in an online version of ourselves that's prettier, better, and happier than we may be in reality. 

On Facebook and other social media sites, the way we manipulate our online image is often benign, subtle,Find buy christian louboutin in many styles and colors. even subconscious. Taking photos when we look a certain way from a certain angle wearing certain outfits in certain places with certain people. Tagging some. Un-tagging others. Airbrushing, cropping, removing red-eye, and deploying any number of Instagram effects. Even our wall posts, status updates, and Tweets convey specifically engineered messages about how we want to see ourselves and be seen by others. 

The way we maintain our online dating profiles is blatantly calculated and deliberate. We try to obscure or omit our shortcomings and emphasize or exaggerate our positive characteristics. I want my photos to portray me as dually playful and sophisticated,Offer hermes handbags, fashion birkin handbags and other styles prada bags. social and introspective. I'm careful to emphasize my athletic physique and downplay my big ears, imperfect complexion, and the fact that I'm only wishfully 5'10”. I say things on my profile like, “I give stellar hugs,” because it conveys traits I'd like to have: a physically imposing but inviting presence, masculinity but sensitivity, confidence and tenderness. In reality, I give average to slightly above average hugs. 

You metaphorically airbrush your online persona too. And who can blame us? After all, it comes from a natural desire to portray attractive versions of ourselves in the hopes of self-validation and validation from others. It's very rarely an indicator of moral depravity (as in the Te'o case) but instead an instinctual and universal desire that motivates us all. My ideal self is a little taller, broad-shouldered, clearer-skinned; Aaron's is blonde and female. We have the same intentions and use the same means to become that. 

I am a catfish. And in the most human of moments, so are you.